Thursday, April 19, 2012

It's Time for a Change






 
     It's time in my life for a change. 
I feel it is time for a BIG change.  I am a believer in the premise that if you want something to happen in your life, REALLY are SURE you want it to happen, you have to MAKE it happen. You have to sign yourself up to BE THERE for the opportunities to make it happen. You have to take some risks, put yourself out there, take some chances, gamble a little, be willing to do things that many people think are crazy. 
Early on in my life, say for the first 30-35 years of it, I was not a gambler. I preferred the sure thing, the known, even if it was less, to the unknown, even if it might have been more. No more. That person is SO gone I don't even really remember WHY I was that way. No, wait, I do. But, maybe, it's a longer, more convoluted reason, or set of reasons, as to why I've changed. I don't think it really matters. I know the reasons. I understand them. And so, I'm not really frightened to wake up at age 49 and realize I'm just not the same person I was at 20, or 25, or even 30. I LIKE who I am. I LIKE who I've become. I have a long ways to go still, but I'm excited to get started.  I'm trying hard not to be selfish, or to look at my own needs as selfish. I have been anything BUT selfish for the past 25 years. There are still those who will see me, or hear my ideas, as selfish. That's ok. I'm mostly just avoiding them. I'm seeking out the few people who DO understand, who cheer me on, who "get it," and who are willing to say, "It's time for YOU."  
Alaska is calling... I'm answering, in May, for two full weeks. I'm excited about that. What's beyond those two weeks there for me, I don't know. Lots of question marks.  But I can tell you the questions, can state them VERY clearly, if you'd care to ask, care to listen, care about me. If not, please don't be offended if I just avoid you a bit for now. I just don't have enough energy to carry my thoughts in too many more directions right now than they already are.   I hope I come home with clothes full of dog hair, a rejuvenated heart from so much sled dog love and never enogh sloppy doggie kisses, and a clearer direction for my future. I hope I come home with answers. A friend of mine has assured me that I will be coming home with more questions. I don't know if he means more questions than I already have now, or simply more questions than answers. Either way, it doesn't matter. Either way, it will be a good thing. I need a change. In 30 days, 4 weeks from Saturday, one of the best things that has ever happened to me, one of the best things I have ever drawn to me, one of the best opportunities I have ever had, will begin. I'm grateful for that. I'm excited. I can't WAIT. 

Yashi-No-Mi = Coconut
 

Sweet Miyuki
Kristin's Team, earlier this winter/spring



 Fireweed - the flower that calls my heart to come home.

3 comments:

Jennifer Montero said...

TAKE ME WITH YOU!!!

I'm impressed, excited for you, a tad jealous, and I can't WAIT to read blog posts about/from Alaska.

From the Country Farm said...

Ditto! Well except for the take me with you part, too much going on here for me to go.... have fun!

Kim Gibson said...

I like what you said about trying not to look at your own needs as selfish. Why are we sometimes afraid to do the thing that will make us happy? I am a little bit jealous too. Good luck!