Saturday, July 2, 2011

I'm All In

     It wasn't the 6 am start I had hoped for, and planned on. It was nearly ten am by the time we left the house.  But, it's summer, and the extra sleep was needed, available, and felt so good this morning, so I simply said, "oh well," and let it go. It's summer. Who cares about self-inflicted schedules?  We hooked up thefriend's boat we were towing to the lake for her, and rolled off into the bright country morning , windows down in the truck, good country music blaring, fields, and cows and swamps and people beginning their Saturday rolling by on the twisty back roads. I had not a single serious thought or concern in my head. The morning began to get steamy as we neared noon, hot bright summer sun shining overhead.  Dropped off the boat, stayed a few minutes, played with some ducks and some dogs, and then turned around to make the reverse trip home. The truck was loud, the country music louder, and my thoughts were all very quiet. I even dozed a bit on the way home, sun on my face.  The orange Tiger Lillies are bountiful, as are the wild daisies along side the road, and I can't think of a place more beautiful today than right here, right now. 
     Last night we had a campfire out back for a couple of hours, myteen-aged kids and some of their friends, and I. We made smores and toasted marshmallows until I, at least,  was stuffed. While it doesn't bode well for the "healthy eating for summer" kick I embarked upon yesterday with a public and official weigh-in, it did wonders for the soul. The stars and fireflies were both out in force. There was no place I would rather have been last night but right here.
     I have meant to do my dishes for several days, and the lawn needs mowing. But the cat had kittens yesterday.  Despite the fact that I feel incredibly irresponsible for letting one of my animals slip through my fingers unspayed, the miracle of birth, even that of unneeded kittens, is something that the world needs to stop for, and marvel at. At least, in MY world. So I did, for most of the afternoon. But it's summer, and it was the best place to be yesterday, and so the dishes went undone and the lawn unmowed yet another day this week.
     The day before that, I had animals that needed to go to the vet;  there, and back and a return trip and back.  That, and some grocery shopping, and an ambulance run, pretty much took up THAT entire day.   And Wednesday, well, that was my sister's birthday, and although I've never been particularly stellar at remembering to send cards, or do gifts for my siblings, I decided once my dad passed away this spring,  that now that all we have is each other, I NEED to do birthdays. I NEED to celebrate my siblings, and remember and honor them, for me, for MY continued sense of family. I don't want my parents to have been the only glue that held us all together. I vowed to not let a single birthday of theirs go by unacknowledged and uncelebrated by me. So I took my sister out for lunch. It was so much fun.
     And Tuesday, the first day after my last day of school, well, I don't even remember what I did that day, except perhaps laze around, recover from the end of school and graduation, and I think maybe I made my TO-Do list for summer. I think I napped a lot, too.
     So, those dishes? Yeah, It think I'll do them tonight. And maybe mow the front lawn at least. And then, when I'm done? I'm going to sit on my front porch with a frozen drink, and watch the sun go down and hopefully pull with it some of the blistering heat of the day, and celebrate summer, and happiness. Here's to it - and to being here, and to living in the here and now, and for being happy with it all. Here's to learning to relax, and let go of artificial plans and schedules and structure for a few weeks. I hope my summer holds more days like today, full of sunshine and country music and road trips with no time line along dirt back roads lined with local wild flowers. It may take me a week to make the transition. I think I might have said, only once or twice though, I'm sure, that I just don't "do" change well, not even GOOD change. But, I think the change has occurred. I think today was the final slipping away of ten months of routine and all that goes with that part of my life. I think that's behind me, now. I've rounded the corner and I only see summer ahead.  Maybe I'll bring some wild daisies in and put them in the blue-sky vase on my kitchen table. Once I can find it again. You know, after I get the dishes done and clean up the kitchen.