Thursday, April 21, 2011

"Why Did the Chicken Cross the Road?"

The Dead Sea Scrolls:
And God came down from the heavens, and He said unto the chicken, "Thou shalt cross the road." And the Chicken crossed the road, and there was much rejoicing.

If you ask this question, you deny your own chicken nature. 

Albert Camus:
It doesn't matter; the chicken's actions have no meaning except to him.

Chickens, over great periods of time, have been naturally selected in such a way that they are now genetically predisposed to cross roads 

Emily Dickinson:
Because it could not stop for death. 

The fact that you thought that the chicken crossed the road reveals your underlying sexual insecurity.

In my day, we didn't ask why the chicken crossed the road. Someone told us that the chicken had crossed the road, and that was good enough for us.

Ernest Hemingway:
To die. In the rain.

Martin Luther King, Jr.:
I envision a world where all chickens will be free to cross roads without having their motives called into question.

Dr. Seuss:
Did the chicken cross the road?
Did he cross it with a toad?
Yes the chicken crossed the road,
but why he crossed, I've not been told!

And my favorite?
Colonel Sanders:
I missed one?

Astrological Chickens

Zodiacal Influence on Chicken Crossing Behaviour

PISCES (February 19 to March 20):

Pisces chickens are dreamy and sensitive. They are blessed with deep intuition and a wealth of emotion. Pisces are romantic, creative and full of love with a potential for great happiness and lasting joy. Their imagination is so strong that it frequently merges with fantasy. They usually cross because they had a vision telling them that this is the means to the happiness they are striving to achieve.

Two weeks ago tomorrow, while my dad was undergoing surgery and I was waiting for hours on end in the hospital waiting room, my friend and "roomie" from school, was sending me random chicken jokes via text messages (clearly neither of us are SOMETIMES very focused on our work, but it makes for better days, believe me! In our defense, she said she missed me that day....) I was reading her texts and chuckling away, but BURST OUT LAUGHING when she sent me the above horoscope for my chickens, which she prefaced by stating, accurately enough, that she bet I had never thought about what my chickens' horoscope said about them.... and you know, she was right. I had never given it a thought. But found it VERY funny to think about my chickens HAVING a horoscope.  AND, she picked the accurate sign under which they were born. Now THAT"S a true friend, someone who remembers your chickens' birthday.
All jokes and horoscope taken from:

1 comment:

Peruby said...

This is priceless!