Wednesday, May 28, 2014
Sad
Have you ever just wanted to sit down and have a good cry? A really long, deep and tearing cry? Yeah, me either. Not really. I'm not much of a crier.
For someone who is normally an extreme optimist, and also very introspective, though, it is frustrating to be feeling as sad and anxious as I have the past two days, without being able to pinpoint why. I DO want to cry. I just feel like collapsing into a little heap and crying my heart out. But, I have no idea why. And I'm anxious. I'm worried and fretting, but have no idea over what.
I keep thinking, "maybe it's the end of the school year stress" or "maybe it's that I am back at school and routine after an awesome trip to Maine last weekend" or "maybe I'm just tired" and then, finally, I've come to "maybe it's everything combined...all of the above." But, it doesn't really seem likely. Like I said, I'm a bit of an optimist, forever aware of my blessings and full of gratitude and happiness at the good, good life I live. So, to be feeling THIS sad and THIS anxious over who knows what is just not like me. It's an odd feeling, to be feeling this way AND not to know why. I don't like it much.
I'm not worried - it's not like some deep, awful depression or anything. The fact that for the past four days camping in Maine I could not have been any happier is reassurance that there is really nothing too deeply wrong. Perhaps it IS just having to come back to reality. Perhaps it IS that my house is totally all torn up awaiting carpeting and flooring and that I don't function well mentally when there is a mess around me. Perhaps after next week, when I have had my end of the year evaluation on my stupid binder at school I will feel much less stressed and will realize that that really IS what is weighing me down at the moment, even though I don't think so.
In the meantime, I think I'll go to bed early again tonight. Whatever it is that is making me want to bawl like a baby can't be hurt any by some extra sleep. And, as my mom always said, tomorrow's a new day. Maybe I'll feel better tomorrow.
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3 comments:
I agree that I think it's the messy house. Bing makes me leave the house whenever we are having anything done or she does the noisiest work when I am away during the day. When the power goes out in a storm, I go batshit crazy. Once the new flooring is in, you'll feel better, I'm certain. For now...I find that chai tea helps. A lot.
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Such a beautiful post, I want to share a testimony on how Dr itua healing herbs cure me.
The worst time has passed”However, it is true that there are more improvements than before...because of the rising numbers of people living with HIV in the state of Nevada. How could they stigmatize all of them? Therefore everything becomes a little easier and we start to share everything... We also started to invite and visit each other in a community. You know, it is six years since I started taking antiretroviral drugs...Yet whatever problems I face, the worst time has passed
When I was evicted from the family home by my mother, my father rented a small room for me. But my mother and brothers believed that having HIV was my own fault – and that I deserved to be punished...I also considered myself unworthy and without hope... But I have a child and eventually I convinced myself to live for my child’s sake.
My mother knew nothing [about HIV]. She didn’t understand anything. Do you know why? She didn’t have [the chance] to go out of the house and communicate with society. However, my father does interact with the community. I know his friends are mature and dignified in africa america. So he has a better understanding than her.
My father came call me on a sadfull day sitting on my couch about a friend of his from africa who introduce him to Dr Itua herbal cure in africa in which he advise we should purchase his herbal medicine to cure my hiv so we did and Dr Itua prescribed I should drink the herbal medicine for two weeks to cure although we were so curious about the whole thing ,I finished the herbal medicine like he advised then he talked to me to visit my nearest clinic for check up I did and now I'm totally cured from Hiv my father was my rock and I and my family are now happy together also Dr Itua has be helpful in my community ever since he cure my Hiv and my tinnitus so why I'm leaving my story on here today is to reach out someone out here to hope on God and never give up no matter the situation you that you are facing especially through this pandemic seasons which has really taught us all on how we should be helpful to each other and cherish one another.
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