Hi. My Name is Laurie and I am an Adrenalin Junky!

     So I went on my first ambulance call today. Finally. And it was a good one to go on, to cut my teeth on, because it was a one-car, no injury, sign-off accident, which means the driver in the accident said there was nothing wrong and he did NOT need ambulance transport, (and he was right) so the EMT in charge took his vitals, checked him over while I filled out the PCR form (Pre-Hospital Care form) - and I was soooo nervous that I filled half of it out wrong, the other EMT was telling me some of what to put in, and I didn't have my reading glasses with me so I couldn't SEE half the form (but there was an extra pair of reading glasses kept on the ambulance - cool! ) 
All in all, it was a VERY calm situation, both EMT's were VERY calm and good, and helped me a ton, and I did ok. Not great, by any means, but ok.  And, I found out something I have been very unsure of for the past 4 months:  I AM an adrenalin junky!  I guess that is going to be something very much in my favor, if I manage to pass the tests, both written and practical.
I STILL can't say I am glad I stuck with it, because I still have about another month to go, and I'm sick to death of classes, sick of studying, sick of doing labs, and, now, TERRIFIED that I will, after all these months, fail the tests, which would make this a HUGE waste of time, but... there is a light at the end of the tunnel, it is growing brighter with each passing week, we are getting closer to done, and I DID stick with it. Not to toot my own horn, because that's really not me, ever, but it is hard to ignore the difficulties that I have endured the past few months WHILE trying to complete this monumental task. I know everyone has their own issues, many of which we simply don't see and never know about, but it is hard NOT to think, upon some reflection, that my row to hoe these past few months might have been one of the more difficult ones of people in my class. I'm not trying to minimize anyone else's accomplishment in finishing this class - 172+ hours of class and lab and clinical time is a huge accomplishment, and a very selfless one, for ANYONE to volunteer to undertake. There is a high school girl in there. God bless her - that's a ton of work when you are only 18 years old. . There are people in there, most of the people, juggling full time jobs and families. The other half of the class is made up of college students. While I personally think theirs might be the easiest of everyone's, I also know it probably isn't. SOME of them are in pre-med, and I know Organic Chemistry has been a tough class for them to get through this semester. Overall, I know it doesn't matter for whom this class has been the biggest challenge. I do know it has been, legitimately, far more of a challenge for me to complete than I ever thought, in January, it would be, simply because I had no idea what else would land on my plate these last few months.  I just need to know I have done well, done my best, despite it all. I NEED to feel good about this, because it is worth feeling good about, not minimizing. My biggest hope, at this point in time, is that I can manage to make the time I need  to study hard, and deep, and well, and that I will pass. I would really like to be an EMT. There, I said it out loud. Now, if I fail, no, wait... no negative thinking allowed. I will NOT fail. 
I would LIKE to be an EMT, and god-willing, in another month, I will know if that is to be.